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【满分范文】
Xiao Hong, our monitor and one of my good friends, got a cold last Monday and has been in hospital for three days. We suggested seeing her to show our concern. So yesterday we went to the hospital. Since I have known for long that Xiao Hong is fond of doggy, I bought a very cute doggy toy before going there.
On seeing the toy, Xiao Hong couldnt help screaming. She hugged the toy which was so lovely and cute again and again. She was moved because we all came to see her. We expressed our hope that she could recover as soon as possible. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship. I believe she will be well soon and come back to us again!
名师点评：
本文的写作让我们再一次领略到上海作文的水平。我觉得其优势主要体现在，其一，用词准确生动，即通过有难度的词汇的使用，将作者的意思准确地加以表达；其二，句式的变换和语法的应用，即表达的问题。上述二者兼而有之，分数怎能不高？
积累卡片
好词：1. concern n.关心2. screaming a.尖叫的3.hug v.拥抱4.cherish v.珍爱
好句：1. We suggested seeing her to show our concern.
我们建议去看看她以表示我们对她的关心。
好处：suggest doing，建议做什么。
2. I told her that the doggy represented my hope of her recovering and my cherishing of our friendship.
我告诉她这个小狗代表了我希望她康复的愿望和对于我们友谊的珍爱。
好处：意思表达十分准确。
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